Snailio Iglesias....
For almost four years, I've protected you and your family from me and my family - those who wanted to salt you, get you drunk or otherwise end your tiny little slimy lives.
For almost four years, I let you destroy my plants, poop on my entryway and make out on my front door - random drippy stuff and all. Did you know that even 409 can't clean your trails? All of this, despite the fact that you look like a dehydrated penis with antlers.
So, I'm sorry, Snailio Iglesias. I'm sorry that in a moment of inattention, I smooshed your innards through your head. The *POP* still haunts me.
I hope you know that I tried. And I hope that slug heaven has all the greenery, dampness and hootchie sluggettes that your little heart can handle.
For almost four years, I've protected you and your family from me and my family - those who wanted to salt you, get you drunk or otherwise end your tiny little slimy lives.
For almost four years, I let you destroy my plants, poop on my entryway and make out on my front door - random drippy stuff and all. Did you know that even 409 can't clean your trails? All of this, despite the fact that you look like a dehydrated penis with antlers.
So, I'm sorry, Snailio Iglesias. I'm sorry that in a moment of inattention, I smooshed your innards through your head. The *POP* still haunts me.
I hope you know that I tried. And I hope that slug heaven has all the greenery, dampness and hootchie sluggettes that your little heart can handle.